By Kevin Kenealy
I’ve been thinking about songs about robots a lot. I mean, why are there so many of them? According to some Web site I looked up (this is a credible source, oh yea), there are at least 46 songs with robots or pertaining to the band’s machine audience. I’m so tin-manned from this whole thing (yes that’s right I said tin-manned, make up an adjective to replace it if you will) that I just had to listen to a number of these songs.
Here’s what I’ve found: The majority of these songs do not make sense. I think most robots would deprogram themselves to the electronica that are robot-related musicana. I’m pretty sure the band Kraftwerk are robots, at least in their “Robots” music video, and the rest of the bands are just trying to reach their robot audience, perhaps.
I wonder what Anthony Daniels thinks of Mr. Roboto? Do people expect him to do the Roboto at weddings? I think if they did, he’d be pretty C3Peeod.
So, I don’t think this fascination will stop. Upon watching the “Iron Man” trailer, what song do I hear? Do you think if there were a robot race, they’d make humanoid songs? And, what would they sound like?
I don’t know about you, but I think the candidates really ought to investigate this blog further. Global warming and the war for Middle Eastern Conquest is important yes, but robots are the future. I mean, I’m pretty sure Clinton’s a robot in disguise. I have no evidence of this – just an intuition – but you know facts aren’t everything. Dan Rather proved this.
Anyways, here are a number of songs pertaining to robots. Enjoy, or if you’re a robot: if you only had a heart, you could enjoy.
Black Sabbath – “Iron Man” – If Rocky Balboa were a robot, he’d be Iron Man. Now that I think about it, Ozzy and Stalone do sound pretty similar and it would be a good entrance song for a wrestler. Anyway, “Iron Man” is probably the coolest song about robots. Although I’ve heard this song enough to probably stretch an entire day’s time, I can always listen to it again and again. Maybe it’s because the emphasis is more on the music that makes this a robot song. We do hear the “I Am Iron Man” but it’s not quite as cheesy as Mr. Roboto. This song actually has balls with killer drum solos and guitar riffs that give it a sort of robotic feel. A six-minute song I never get tired of always makes me “live again.”
Big Dumb Face – “Robot” – More of a heavy metal robot bout, as opposed to “Iron Man,” this song pounds out fast-paced robot voice pounded to heavy guitar for a minute straight, or the entire length of the song. “Thank you Robot” are the last words said….could this be an influence from “Thank you very much Mr. Roboto?” Hmmmmmm……..
Kraftwerk – “Robots” – Robot-like music, electronica … are Kraftwerk robots?
The Futureheads – “Living Like a Robot” – In the music video, it’s a cartoon version of robots and shows Bender from Futurerama. Ha, the Futureheads show Futurama; who knew?
Grandaddy – “Jed the Humanoid” - Sounds like a cross between Tom Yorke and something I can’t really put my finger on. It’s very depressing and boring….that’s all I have to say….it moves slower than Kraftwerk and I guess that’s this song’s only feat….needs more oil around the edges.
They Might Be Giants – “Robot Parade” - Entertaining, short enough to keep my short attention span on robot songs, the robot voice was campy and creative. I guess it was about robots that were on parade for some reason.
Les Claypool – “Robot Chicken” – Very, very odd, in a near Mike Patton way, it made me feel as if I was in another world. Considering this, it had a feel to it, very unrobotlike but robotlike at the same time if that makes sense – kind of like how Clinton’s a democrat but it doesn’t seem like she is?
Beastie Boys – “Intergalactic Planetary” – whenever a cheesy robot comes out of another dimension and then attempts to dance to the white rappin’ Boys, it’s nothing short of Beastie.
Styx – “Mr. Roboto” - How can one blog about robots without even mentioning Mr. Roboto? Apparently, according to the music video, Mr. Roboto does everything from get a cat out of a tree, vaccuum, all with squares drawn on a silver box. Perhaps my favorite part of this video, though, is a clip shown of Godzilla and a robot shaking his fist at it. As cheesy as the dance is, I always find myself singing along with it.
Radiohead – “Paranoid Android” - This video makes about as much sense as the Wizard of Oz backward or George Bush or indulging on multiple energy drinks. This song almost makes me feel high even though I’ve never been and the video only helps compliment that (the cartoon video includes a man who attempts to chop down a light post in medieval wear with his shirt off and mermaids who rescue him from a river – need I say more?) Perhaps my favorite song on OK Computer (a fitting album for a robot song), this song has more to do with I think someone lost in a crazy, crazy world…..a paranoid android…..this song alone almost serves as a mini album, as well, in that it has its upbeat, its sweet mellow crescendos and decrescendos complimented wtih York’s weeping voice. This is, by far, my favorite robot-affiliated song
Daft Punk – “Robot Rock” – A cross between rock n’ roll and disco, this song seems like it would be played at Studio 54, Circa 1978. I can’t imagine any robots dancing to this, other than perhaps R2D2 or Bender, but definitely not stiffs like C3PO or Keith Richards. This is for your harder core dancin’ bots. The double guitar used in the video shines so much to give anyone a seizure. This is also one of those tunes that you should be careful with, because I already have the same few notes stuck in my f’in head. If I were a robot, I could just program it out right now. Damn it.
The Flaming Lips – “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots” – I guess Yoshimi is going to save us from the evil machines. I’m glad I have someone on my side. In the event of a terrorist disaster, I know everything will be fine because I have Yoshimi on my side, who in the video appears to do nothing but eat fruit and vegetables while in a crouching position. Thank you Yoshimi, I believe you won’t let the robots defeat me. Good for a laugh.
Robin Gibb – “Robot” – Annoying from the get go, the first 25 seconds could be cut from this…OK…and the music is louder than the guy singing. I hear something in the song about a robot and then there’s a robot voice. We’re 2 and a half minutes into this thing and it feels like 2 and a half hours. It’s like the song that never ends but worse. It’s more monotone than Kraftwerk without trying to be. It’s just awful is what it is. Is the beat supposed to make me dance or throw up? I’m not sure….maybe throwing up is the dance? Whatever….I’ve definitely wasted time listening to this…..ha at 3 and a half minutes….some new backup singer comes in for some reason…why then? this actually makes Rosie O’Donnell singing the national anthem sound normal….it’s ending…..freedom.